Sure is that time again, court hearing number 2 is this Friday 17th December.... Nervous? I am, very!
I have spent the last few days finalising my statement for the judge, and I presume Freya's mom will be doing exactly the same with her legal representatives.
This week I shall be represented by my solicitor, I have a feeling the court hearing will be fast paced and that if, as expected, Freya's mom continues to dispute my right to custody, or my paternity (which sadly she has questioned before), we will be sent away by the judge to provide indisputable evidence that I am indeed biological father, and also to get references from the services that have been involved in our lives this year, childrens services (aka social services) mental health teams, maybe the police, ambulance service and of course the midwife and health visitor team, all of whom have witness my ex partners inability to maintain normal and stable life patterns for many months at a time.
And again, lol, this should have been posted already, so I am in the process of dealing with the outcomes from that last court hearing, which took place on 17th Dec.
Great news for Freya's mom, who is now able to see her once again for several hours, they see each other 4-730 on Monday , Wednesday and Friday and in the morning 930-1300 on a Saturday. This is only until the court cases are cleared, currently Freya is living with me still, and I am not sure if we will be going for shared custody, full time residency or if there maybe a chance that Freya's mother may actually be able to take a leading role, and have her live with her for longer periods of time. No point putting Freya in a situation where she will be let down again, so I am hoping the courts decide to let me help by keeping hold of Freya every evening!
Unfortunately I will not be able to post my statements until after the court cases, as I don't want to offer anyone any chances to have the case scuppered!! So hang in there for some superb reading!!
Tuesday 21 December 2010
First coughee cough cough... (should have posted last week!)
Oh My Lord.....
Freya seems to think it is acceptable to wake your father, at 3am, then scream at him until he finds and effective way to remove boogers, snottery and general baby sniffles.... All from a baby who knows not how to blow her nose!
I have taken her to the doctors, (precautions at the moment, any thing that happens I take her just to keep myself covered somewhat for my litigation process!) and apparently lots of children have a form of croup at the moment. And in order to reduce this somewhat, I am to take her in a steamy room every so often to help clear her throat, nose and chest. So I will be off to the sauna tonight, come on Freya, grab your towel, bannatynes here we come!!!
Ands as this post was not posted when it should have been, I can now report that Freya is a happy little bean once again! Cough free and in singing spirit once more!!
Freya seems to think it is acceptable to wake your father, at 3am, then scream at him until he finds and effective way to remove boogers, snottery and general baby sniffles.... All from a baby who knows not how to blow her nose!
I have taken her to the doctors, (precautions at the moment, any thing that happens I take her just to keep myself covered somewhat for my litigation process!) and apparently lots of children have a form of croup at the moment. And in order to reduce this somewhat, I am to take her in a steamy room every so often to help clear her throat, nose and chest. So I will be off to the sauna tonight, come on Freya, grab your towel, bannatynes here we come!!!
Ands as this post was not posted when it should have been, I can now report that Freya is a happy little bean once again! Cough free and in singing spirit once more!!
Thursday 9 December 2010
Statement Time...
Firstly, please may I apologize for not making many comments on my blog for the past few days. I have been very busy with my legal team reviewing the statement I have put together for the court. It lays out clearly why I intend to request residence of Freya, it is quite detailed and contains lots of details, some of which I felt maybe a bit confidential to share on here.
I will post the entire statement once it has been read in court next Friday, once that has been done, it is in the public domain!
In the mean time, Freya is continuing to entertain and be loved by her brother and sisters.. We are all lucky to have each other in our lives.
I will post the entire statement once it has been read in court next Friday, once that has been done, it is in the public domain!
In the mean time, Freya is continuing to entertain and be loved by her brother and sisters.. We are all lucky to have each other in our lives.
Thursday 2 December 2010
Good News from Mom
Great news... Freya's mom was able to see her on Wednesday, the first time in over a week. It is a small step, a three hour supervised visit, but it is a step forward. It is a great shame that she suffers with awful crises throughout her life, but I am determined that little Freya grows up with an awareness of who her mom is, and that she knows of the positive and wonderful side of her mom which could, without care be lost among the blur of her life.
Freya's mom has requested that she resumes and continues to see her twice a week for a few hours at a time until February when there is a pre-arranged social services review of our arrangement. By which time I hope my legal process will have secured and agreed her mothers access and my residence of Freya , which would mean social services could cease their involvement with the family, as I would have authority and care legally.
We have a little way to go, and probably a few thousand pounds of legal bills to come too. But for the time being, Freya is settled for the holiday period and we can enjoy a peaceful family time.
Freya's mom has requested that she resumes and continues to see her twice a week for a few hours at a time until February when there is a pre-arranged social services review of our arrangement. By which time I hope my legal process will have secured and agreed her mothers access and my residence of Freya , which would mean social services could cease their involvement with the family, as I would have authority and care legally.
We have a little way to go, and probably a few thousand pounds of legal bills to come too. But for the time being, Freya is settled for the holiday period and we can enjoy a peaceful family time.
Wednesday 1 December 2010
Countdown to 1600 hours..
I have a time in my head, 1600 hours....
This is when Freya should be collected from her Granny and taken to see her mom......
We will know any minute now...
This is when Freya should be collected from her Granny and taken to see her mom......
We will know any minute now...
Uncertainties.
This is a pretty brief blog post from today.. .I am awaiting news about Freya's mom, she vanished last week and I have not heard of her since last Monday, it would seem that I was duped somewhat as she has been having a melt down since a week last Friday, and she saw Freya last Monday, so although she is making some effort to be involved, I am not convinced she is either well, or not drinking alcohol regularly.
Just the real uncertainty about when or whether she will turn up each week is the exemplifying the reason why Freya is with me.
Tuesday 30 November 2010
Barristers, Solicitors, Judges,
Following three months of my caring for Freya her mother has decided to be very awkward and dispute my paternity (omg) and also to argue against my custody claim (ffs).
What does this really mean to me, that I need to continue to be strong, that I must remember that Freya's only going to be safe if she is nurtured by her loving paternal family. That her dear mother just doesn't have the capability of maintaining normality for long enough periods of time to make for a reasonable life.
At this stage I am employing legal support, a solicitor who specializes in family law, who is based within a specialist family law team at one of the UK's best legal firms. I have a barrister appointed by my solicitor, also a specialist in aspects of family law. I have requested one court sitting, to which Freya's mom was unable to attend.
Currently I am holding parental responsibility for Freya and am requesting formal custody, so that I can manage her access to her mom as appropriate, and protect her from this repeated neglect (her mother seems unable to stick to agreed visits and access, even over this short period which has currently been Freya's life). The court cases are setting me back about £300 for barrister fees, £200 for court fees, £200-500 for solicitor fees, so I am hoping we can clear this up pretty quickly*...
*If this drags on, expect to see a sponsorship form coming round... I will cycle to paris and back if someone will help pay my legal expenses!!
What does this really mean to me, that I need to continue to be strong, that I must remember that Freya's only going to be safe if she is nurtured by her loving paternal family. That her dear mother just doesn't have the capability of maintaining normality for long enough periods of time to make for a reasonable life.
At this stage I am employing legal support, a solicitor who specializes in family law, who is based within a specialist family law team at one of the UK's best legal firms. I have a barrister appointed by my solicitor, also a specialist in aspects of family law. I have requested one court sitting, to which Freya's mom was unable to attend.
Currently I am holding parental responsibility for Freya and am requesting formal custody, so that I can manage her access to her mom as appropriate, and protect her from this repeated neglect (her mother seems unable to stick to agreed visits and access, even over this short period which has currently been Freya's life). The court cases are setting me back about £300 for barrister fees, £200 for court fees, £200-500 for solicitor fees, so I am hoping we can clear this up pretty quickly*...
*If this drags on, expect to see a sponsorship form coming round... I will cycle to paris and back if someone will help pay my legal expenses!!
Monday 29 November 2010
How did Freya end up with Daddy....
Freya's mom and I met 19 years ago when we were still young! She was a beautiful and captivating young thing. Like Edie Sedgwick, and I would love to say, without her problems, but sadly in true lemony snickets style, this is not the case, and hers is not a happy tale.
We went out, for a short while and then didn't see each other for a long time, during which her life changed irreversibly. She had experiences with drugs (who didn't), with alcohol (again who didn't) and she had some terrible experiences within her mind..
When Freya's mom and I met again, a mutual friend brought us back together, we had a great friendship and she was all the things she used to be. However, she did have some problems to deal with in her life, which seemed to pull us together over the coming months. Our friendship started as really hard work but became one which was fun and we spent some wonderful times together, this eventually lead to a fairly short relationship, from which a domino effect would start like I never imagined!
Freya's mom seemed fine and genuinely determined to settle in a relationship with me, and this made me comfortable about having another child. When she conceived with Freya and she couldn't contain her happiness, there was a whirlwind of excitement in the air and all seemed wonderful. The fun lasted a few short weeks though and unbelievably she started drinking heavily, then sadly she left me for another man, and then cut me off completely. When she was several months pregnant she called me, and told me everything was going wrong, and that she was back where she started. We spent time together and she had an awful time trying to put things back together, but she struggled to sort things out, and again she moved back to her partners home. This was a couple of months prior to Freya's birth and I was once again cut off completely, nothing but an email saying that I would be contacted by her solicitor when Freya was born, in order that a dna test could be undertaken to prove my paternity!
I heard nothing for months and my texts went unanswered. When I knew my child must have been born, I did a little detective work with my friends and discovered I was indeed the father of a beautiful little girl, one who I thought I may never meet. I didn't want to go rocking her moms boat and causing her to fall ill and wreck what could be the start of a wonderful life for them both.
But.... On the 9th of September 2010 I received a phone call from Freya's mom, asking me to come and visit as I had never met my daughter, and she was going to hand her over to go into care with social services that day. I could not believe my ears and organised a lift to her new home as quickly as I could.
When I got there I could not believe that she was back where she had been a year previous. But this time my daughter was in the middle of it, and after a short conversation, her mom asked me to take her away and to look after her. This is something we had discussed happening time and time again during the pregnancy, she was determined to try and be a great mom, but was totally aware that this might not be something she could do.
Anyway, I took Freya, with a little bag of clothes and a car seat, and that was it. We drove back to my home, I called social services and explained what had happened, and while we waited for someone to come and explain to us what had been going on in Freya's life, we settled her in and made her comfortable!
During the coming days I was made aware of a child protection order which was in place over my child, to keep an eye on her and make sure she didn't suffer from neglect. I found that the partner and mom had broken an agreement which stated that Freya would be taken into care, which meant if I had not been involved, I truly may never have met her.
Over the coming weeks there were several meetings held where we planned how Freya could be reintegrated to her mom, the original plan being to take her back on the following Monday, I felt that there was more to be looked at, but was over ridden by her partner and social services.
The following weekend I was contacted by Freya's mom who was having an awful time, making me aware of how she was feeling and how she was unable to cope or care for her child and that I would have to continue. I made social services aware once more, and as one thing lead to another, Freya's mom became more and more unwell. And made it impossible for me to hand her back over. After one key social services lead meeting, it was agreed Freya should stay with me and that I should apply for custody via the courts.
We went out, for a short while and then didn't see each other for a long time, during which her life changed irreversibly. She had experiences with drugs (who didn't), with alcohol (again who didn't) and she had some terrible experiences within her mind..
When Freya's mom and I met again, a mutual friend brought us back together, we had a great friendship and she was all the things she used to be. However, she did have some problems to deal with in her life, which seemed to pull us together over the coming months. Our friendship started as really hard work but became one which was fun and we spent some wonderful times together, this eventually lead to a fairly short relationship, from which a domino effect would start like I never imagined!
Freya's mom seemed fine and genuinely determined to settle in a relationship with me, and this made me comfortable about having another child. When she conceived with Freya and she couldn't contain her happiness, there was a whirlwind of excitement in the air and all seemed wonderful. The fun lasted a few short weeks though and unbelievably she started drinking heavily, then sadly she left me for another man, and then cut me off completely. When she was several months pregnant she called me, and told me everything was going wrong, and that she was back where she started. We spent time together and she had an awful time trying to put things back together, but she struggled to sort things out, and again she moved back to her partners home. This was a couple of months prior to Freya's birth and I was once again cut off completely, nothing but an email saying that I would be contacted by her solicitor when Freya was born, in order that a dna test could be undertaken to prove my paternity!
I heard nothing for months and my texts went unanswered. When I knew my child must have been born, I did a little detective work with my friends and discovered I was indeed the father of a beautiful little girl, one who I thought I may never meet. I didn't want to go rocking her moms boat and causing her to fall ill and wreck what could be the start of a wonderful life for them both.
But.... On the 9th of September 2010 I received a phone call from Freya's mom, asking me to come and visit as I had never met my daughter, and she was going to hand her over to go into care with social services that day. I could not believe my ears and organised a lift to her new home as quickly as I could.
When I got there I could not believe that she was back where she had been a year previous. But this time my daughter was in the middle of it, and after a short conversation, her mom asked me to take her away and to look after her. This is something we had discussed happening time and time again during the pregnancy, she was determined to try and be a great mom, but was totally aware that this might not be something she could do.
Anyway, I took Freya, with a little bag of clothes and a car seat, and that was it. We drove back to my home, I called social services and explained what had happened, and while we waited for someone to come and explain to us what had been going on in Freya's life, we settled her in and made her comfortable!
During the coming days I was made aware of a child protection order which was in place over my child, to keep an eye on her and make sure she didn't suffer from neglect. I found that the partner and mom had broken an agreement which stated that Freya would be taken into care, which meant if I had not been involved, I truly may never have met her.
Over the coming weeks there were several meetings held where we planned how Freya could be reintegrated to her mom, the original plan being to take her back on the following Monday, I felt that there was more to be looked at, but was over ridden by her partner and social services.
The following weekend I was contacted by Freya's mom who was having an awful time, making me aware of how she was feeling and how she was unable to cope or care for her child and that I would have to continue. I made social services aware once more, and as one thing lead to another, Freya's mom became more and more unwell. And made it impossible for me to hand her back over. After one key social services lead meeting, it was agreed Freya should stay with me and that I should apply for custody via the courts.
An Introduction...
Well, if anything every did need an introduction, it is my family and then importantly this web blog, dedicated to my little girl, Freya Bull.
I have four wonderful children, all of whom I love dearly and protect jealously. My eldest is called Jade, she is thirteen and a really impressive child, horse-rider, flute player, opera singer, pianist, and so much more. Next comes Georgia, she is eleven and is basically a princess, she has a heart of gold and makes her little sister and brother very happy kids! Then I have Louis, who is a wonderful little man, he has an illness called orthine-transcarbyl-malayse deficiency, look it up and be amazed that he is a little swimmer, actor, and by the looks of it, a wanna be cage fighter!!
Finally is the one this blog is all about.. Freya Bull , she is a little princess too, I am sure she will be an eco warrior and will one day, save the world....
She was born on 5th August 2010 and was cared for by her mom and her partner for the first 5 weeks of her life, until on the 9th September, she came to live with her daddy.... Since then she has had an adventure, and I have too, with this new journey, the awesome responsibility that has come to rest with me.
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