Tuesday 30 November 2010

Barristers, Solicitors, Judges,

Following three months of my caring for Freya her mother has decided to be very awkward and dispute my paternity (omg) and also to argue against my custody claim (ffs).

What does this really mean to me, that I need to continue to be strong, that I must remember that Freya's only going to be safe if she is nurtured by her loving paternal family. That her dear mother just doesn't have the capability of maintaining normality for long enough periods of time to make for a reasonable life.

At this stage I am employing legal support, a solicitor who specializes in family law, who is based within a specialist family law team at one of the UK's best legal firms. I have a barrister appointed by my solicitor, also a specialist in aspects of family law. I have requested one court sitting, to which Freya's mom was unable to attend.

Currently I am holding parental responsibility for Freya and am requesting formal custody, so that I can manage her access to her mom as appropriate, and protect her from this repeated neglect (her mother seems unable to stick to agreed visits and access, even over this short period which has currently been Freya's life). The court cases are setting me back about £300 for barrister fees, £200 for court fees, £200-500 for solicitor fees, so I am hoping we can clear this up pretty quickly*...


*If this drags on, expect to see a sponsorship form coming round... I will cycle to paris and back if someone will help pay my legal expenses!!

Monday 29 November 2010

How did Freya end up with Daddy....

Freya's mom and I met 19 years ago when we were still young! She was a beautiful and captivating young thing. Like Edie Sedgwick, and I would love to say, without her problems, but sadly in true lemony snickets style, this is not the case, and hers is not a happy tale.
We went out, for a short while and then didn't see each other for a long time, during which her life changed irreversibly. She had experiences with drugs (who didn't), with alcohol (again who didn't) and she had some terrible experiences within her mind..
When Freya's mom and I met again, a mutual friend brought us back together, we had a great friendship and she was all the things she used to be. However, she did have some problems to deal with in her life, which seemed to pull us together over the coming months. Our friendship started as really hard work but became one which was fun and we spent some wonderful times together, this eventually lead to a fairly short relationship, from which a domino effect would start like I never imagined!
Freya's mom seemed fine and genuinely determined to settle in a relationship with me, and this made me comfortable about having another child. When she conceived with Freya and she couldn't contain her happiness, there was a whirlwind of excitement in the air and all seemed wonderful. The fun lasted a few short weeks though and unbelievably she started drinking heavily, then sadly she left me for another man, and then cut me off completely. When she was several months pregnant she called me, and told me everything was going wrong, and that she was back where she started. We spent time together and she had an awful time trying to put things back together, but she struggled to sort things out, and again she moved back to her partners home. This was a couple of months prior to Freya's birth and I was once again cut off completely, nothing but an email saying that I would be contacted by her solicitor when Freya was born, in order that a dna test could be undertaken to prove my paternity!
I heard nothing for months and my texts went unanswered. When I knew my child must have been born, I did a little detective work with my friends and discovered I was indeed the father of a beautiful little girl, one who I thought I may never meet. I didn't want to go rocking her moms boat and causing her to fall ill and wreck what could be the start of a wonderful life for them both.
But.... On the 9th of September 2010 I received a phone call from Freya's mom, asking me to come and visit as I had never met my daughter, and she was going to hand her over to go into care with social services that day. I could not believe my ears and organised a lift to her new home as quickly as I could.
When I got there I could not believe that she was back where she had been a year previous. But this time my daughter was in the middle of it, and after a short conversation, her mom asked me to take her away and to look after her. This is something we had discussed happening time and time again during the pregnancy, she was determined to try and be a great mom, but was totally aware that this might not be something she could do.
Anyway, I took Freya, with a little bag of clothes and a car seat, and that was it. We drove back to my home, I called social services and explained what had happened, and while we waited for someone to come and explain to us what had been going on in Freya's life, we settled her in and made her comfortable!
During the coming days I was made aware of a child protection order which was in place over my child, to keep an eye on her and make sure she didn't suffer from neglect. I found that the partner and mom had broken an agreement which stated that Freya would be taken into care, which meant if I had not been involved, I truly may never have met her.
Over the coming weeks there were several meetings held where we planned how Freya could be reintegrated to her mom, the original plan being to take her back on the following Monday, I felt that there was more to be looked at, but was over ridden by her partner and social services.
The following weekend I was contacted by Freya's mom who was having an awful time, making me aware of how she was feeling and how she was unable to cope or care for her child and that I would have to continue. I made social services aware once more, and as one thing lead to another, Freya's mom became more and more unwell.  And made it impossible for me to hand her back over. After one key social services lead meeting, it was agreed Freya should stay with me and that I should apply for custody via the courts.

An Introduction...

Well, if anything every did need an introduction, it is my family and then importantly this web blog, dedicated to my little girl, Freya Bull.
I have four wonderful children, all of whom I love dearly and protect jealously. My eldest is called Jade, she is thirteen and a really impressive child, horse-rider, flute player, opera singer, pianist, and so much more. Next comes Georgia, she is eleven and is basically a princess, she has a heart of gold and makes her little sister and brother very happy kids! Then I have Louis, who is a wonderful little man, he has an illness called orthine-transcarbyl-malayse deficiency, look it up and be amazed that he is a little swimmer, actor, and by the looks of it, a wanna be cage fighter!!
Finally is the one this blog is all about.. Freya Bull , she is a little princess too, I am sure she will be an eco warrior and will one day, save the world....
She was born on 5th August 2010 and was cared for by her mom and her partner for the first 5 weeks of her life, until on the 9th September, she came to live with her daddy.... Since then she has had an adventure, and I have too, with this new journey, the awesome responsibility that has come to rest with me.